I couldn't understand at all when I first listened to the voice recording of Mind Training. 

I didn't like it very much and I thought I didn't have to listen again after I listened to it once. 

I didn't do self-check on progress for quite a while but I thought I was OK since I was doing other tasks. recently, I started self-check on progress and I am listening to the voice recording again. 

I try to listen to it without thinking too much. I listen to it whenever I have time. I find it quite interesting and I can understand better this time. 

I still can't understand all the contents. 

It says that accurate understanding is important for treatment. I still don't understand what it means by accurate understanding. 

I guess I am afraid that I will despair when i face negative responses even when I seem to accurately understand. 

I am afraid I will get hurt even more if I get hurt when I think I am OK. I wonder if I can treat myself even when the situation is absolutely devastating.  

Sometimes, I feel bored that i have to keep listening to the recording and doing therapeutic tasks. So I just do them without focusing well. 

After all, I will keep making efforts. 

I know so well that I have recovered this much because I chose to treat myself as if I hung on to the life boat and kept hanging on to it. 

I definitely want to open a road of happiness for myself and my children.