Do as instructed
I am trying to "do as instructed" by taking screen shots of the description of the tasks on the homepage and following the instruction. I first did the tasks just because I was in such pain and I paid the expense as if a drowning man would pull a straw. I did them but i didn't really focus. I went on and off with the tasks but I tried to do my best. I could feel that I was getting better little by little in time. I began to think about how I was doing, whether I made arbitrary interpretation, or I was missing any part.
I find it a very interesting concept. It turns out that I used to make arbitrary interpretation a lot. I used to be convinced of my own ideas and try to teach other people. Now, I understand how I have to just do the tasks without making arbitrary interpretation. I know that I have to eradicate prejudice, misunderstanding, and arrogance. I know that I can't understand everything at one look.
I still have pain. It hurts a lot. However, I don't blame myself or other people. I don't criticize others, and then, fall for despair. At least, I know what to do, and make efforts to restore myself above anything. Yes, it hurts, but I'm going in the right direction.